Tuesday, June 13, 2006 ; 7:59 AM
i'm freakishly sad that i'm back, and it turns out beatrice is leaving next week. so yay? i'm feeling like a total idiot here. it feels so weird? socceroos' been giving people hangovers? like last night when aussie won japan 3-1, they were drinking their hearts content. i'm lazy. i didn't wanna come back. i can't imagine life would be for the next 12 days. i need something to do. i wanna watch 'she's the man' and i wanna watch 'stick it' if it'll be shown here. unless it was already shown here. oh wells. i'm burning and sleepy. love,____.
Friday, June 09, 2006 ; 5:24 PM
i'm coming home on monday and i can't wait. yay? okay. i'm being retard. having been shopping much. sleeping most of the time. bleagh! can't send messages now that i'm here.i just heard something sad. man! i'm gonna miss beatrice. she's like leaving after i return. wtf? she better be around for her lollipop. yes. i still owe her one.
Saturday, May 27, 2006 ; 5:20 PM
I LOVE MY PHONE(: haha. it's hot. i'm being so totally random. 'cause i seriously don't know what to say. anyways, i'm leaving past midnight tonight. and it'll be my birthday in approximately 6 hours and 40 minutes. i can't wait till 2330h. the airport's more interesting than my home. heard it'll be about 4 degrees when mama and i get there. was supposed to go for youth today. figured out i still had alot of things to do. i'm gonna miss all the songs we listen here. there are some songs here there aren't there. the tv there is like total boredom. i only like watching the kid's channel, channel 7 and the news. WHAT?! i listen to the news okay. to keep up with the temperature forecasts. anyways, getting lazy. I STILL LOVE MY PHONE. i'm gonna go now. LOVE, me.
we'll see if i blog during the next 2 weeks.
Monday, May 22, 2006 ; 2:44 AM
6 days to kabooming. 11 days to partying? i got my phone yesterday. but it was black not silver. ain't that sad? the silver one had some hardware problem. anyways, we went to labrador park and the changi museum. on the way to the changi museum, i had this splitting headache, and then thoughts came running through my head, and all the history and war stuff the guide was talking about reminded me of my gramp and so YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. i ended up sitting out the whole thing, with super puffy face and now, i don't need to worry about going for camp. quote from mrs pandian 'she hasn't been herself lately', 'she seems very depressed' and 'i want you to go stay home and rest, reflect and come back next term like the joy your gramp liked'. okay. that was gay. yeah. and the song 'amazing grace' just kept running through my head. yes. okay. let's forget the unhappy stuff and think about the happy stuff. hmm.. I'M GONNA GET MY LOLLIPOPIES and i'll be partying the night away on 2 june, hopefully i don't get drunk and start spouting crap and you know what. yes.
this song or whatever you'd like to call it suddenly came running through my mind: 'mama had a chicken, mama had a cow, dad was proud he didn't care how.' and you know the rest of it. RETARDED. nvm. will go now. needa sleep. love love.
Friday, May 19, 2006 ; 1:51 AM
9 more days to kaboom-boom. and kwok siong got the phone before me. but who cares. i'm not jealous. YOU READ THIS KWOK SIONG? I'M NOT JEALOUS. i'd be coveting if i did. besides, i know i'm definitely gonna get it this sunday, monday or next saturday( i don't really like belated birthday presents). well. when my birthday comes, i'll get my lollipopies and PHONE(: right now i shall be contented with my wrecked phone and all that. okay. CAMP'S NEXT WEEK. suyi and i are stuck with some people. we're the only two 2d people. it's gonna be boring. a full 4 days. then there'll be LOVE MG. then ice cream, airplane and tears. i cry when i get on planes. it's happened only the last two times though. it just goes to show how emo i am. maybe it wasn't because i was leaving. maybe it was because i had a headache, the first time (yeah. i drank coke. which probably made it worst.)and my mama wasn't there, the second. anyways, let's bring back a happy memory which unfortunately was broken.
that was the best memory we shared. i think. other than youth camp, with all the funny stuff. i miss those days. actually that was the last time we had so much fun. if i remember right. we were really on fire for GOD. so much for 'we complete the puzzle'. we're like missing bits and pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. torn apart. i'd be looking forward to the day this puzzle is pieced back together. i was talking to andy the saturday that just passed. and he asked me to wait a few more months and see what will become of the youth. well i don't wish for that day to come. anyways, the way liz tried getting andy back to church, go to new creation with her was funny. the first thing he asked was 'are there babes?' and we were both like 'oh my goodness'. liz gave up pestering him and asked him to call her when he was ready. andy will always be andy. the fact that he's in the same clique as my brother and i've known him for long, i'd better know. alright. gotta jet. love, me.
Thursday, May 18, 2006 ; 3:14 AM
i'm having this REALLY bad headache. i bet everyone at the back,except maybe belicia, are gonna hate me when they find out mrs pandian moved me back to the back of the class. she said she'll put me somewhere else, but i expected her to put like two people where i'm sitting and i sit in theirs. i really didn't mind sitting alone. just not with no one sitting next to me. let's hope everything goes well, tomorrow. and everyone will just accept the fact that she moved me back there. the back people will always remain the people at the back. anyways, i think i may fall sick. i owe someone 20 dollars worth of candy. i'd better increase that to 25 now that i'm almost 3 weeks late. and that includes lollipopies and chocolates. maybe i shouldn't get lollipopies.she's probably sick of it already. my overalls kinda sucked.
mrs pandian said i'm not working to my full potential and she was expecting me to do better. belicia and i have to work hard to prove to her that she was right about us.
there are pictures of me and gramp on the dining table. and it gets kinda depressing. cause it was pictures of me when i was young that he kept and he looked so healthy there. i cried this morning. everytime someone talks about it, i just get all sad. i don't know why. it can't be helped.
CAMP'S IN 4 DAYS. i'm so not ready. i don't feel like going. not in the mood.bleagh! it'll be kinda embarrassing. like if you talk in your sleep or snore, people will know. haha. they'll just have to pray hard. okay that all. love, me.
Monday, May 15, 2006 ; 7:05 PM
each time i walk into my bedroom, i'm reminded of the time he used to stay with us, bursting intotears. he had kept many pictures of me when i was young. the last time we ever took a photograph together was probably when i was 7. he loved my siblings and me the most. he would take us out, and buy things for us. being his favourite grandchildren, he threatened to punish anyone who dared bully us. i did not have my chance to tell him i loved him for the last time. an hour earlier, and i would have been able to. i just wished he didn't have to suffer the way he did and also that he could be buried instead of being cremated and his ashes into the open sea. even as he is in heaven, i'll never forget him, his love for me and all that he has done for me. he may have chosen my mother over me when the doctor asked, but now that i live, he loved me even more than he could have. sometimes, i wonder why i had to be this close to him. if i hadn't, i may not be as sad as i am. i think to myself, i wish i could disappear, go somewhere far away, where there's nothing which could ever make me sad....
